Slow Realization
by LuckyTurtle
Summary: Mikan realizes she likes Natsume, and hopes he likes her back. Songfic.


**Oh my God, I TOTALLY forgot about this. I wrote this awhile ago, but I never put it up. Whoops :)**

**This song is actually a Japanese song, sang by Nana Mizuki, but for the sake of those who want to know the lyrics of the song (like me!), I translated it.**

**This is a songfic, from Mikan's POV, pointed towards Natsume.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice, or the song used in this fanfic: Innocent Starter.**

…

It was an ordinary day, I suppose, when I first heard the song. It was sad, undoubtedly.

**You hugged your knees to your chest**

**Shaking with perpetual unease in the corner of the room**

**Fearing the "truth" you know, you closed the door**

I imagined you on the day you discovered the truth about the academy.

Did it hurt? Realizing the truth about the lies they fed you?****

**You found that "truth" in a gentle lie and took refuge in a dream**

**An ocean of loneliness dyed deep blue, known by no one**

I took a moment to think about this.

Did others know of your loneliness?

No.

They knew you had troubles, that you hated the academy, that your path was harsh, but the others didn't look hard enough into you to see your loneliness.

Except Ruka, of course.****

**Concealed in that earnest thought**

**Is the sadness which wounds your heart**

**The secret in your eyes, my gentle love is the truth behind your smile**

I knew I was dense, yes. I knew I was idiotic, stupid, and slow.

But being slow doesn't mean I don't figure things out eventually.

It just takes a little longer for me than others, is all.

So it didn't take that much longer after all the others figured it out, for me to, too.

I figured out that the reason you sometimes smile now, was because of me.

It made me glad.

**That seems to draw me in, I'm going to tell you this**

**When you've felt my love, it's fragile warmth will overflow and seperate you from the past**

I hoped then, that on the day I finally confessed, that you would feel comforted by it.

I hoped it would help.

**Because I am forever by your side, that sad shadow need no longer confuse you**

I will stay by your side, even if you tell me not to.****

**Like a child you seek only aspirations**

**But finding nothing**

**You just lose sight of what is dear to you**

Don't you realize?

When you push others away, you are losing them.

Maybe it's your intention, to keep them from being hurt, but you're hurting them, too.

You lose sight of the fact that disappearing from everyone's lives won't help anything.****

**You want to obtain the power to protect**

Oh, you're so stupid.

How you want to protect others, but you can't even protect yourself.

You say I'm stupid, but you're lying, because the only _stupid_ one around here is you.

**Happiness un-decorated by that which is within the "ordinary" and "usual"**

**Living in the present, straight-forwardly**

**Unconfused by glances of the past; that is the only answer which comes to mind**

**In the red sky at dawn, a rainbow is painted and the darkness encompasses everything**

**My small courageous words cross that sky**

**Even if the future is captured, even if the distance vanishes, this prayer will not end**

I pray for that outcome of happiness.

I pray for peace and joy.

I pray for your love.

**I long to convey to you that unchanged feeling**

I want your love to be returned.

Please.****

**"The beginning" you softly whisper to me**

It was a few weeks later, when the song was still popular, that my prayer was answered.

**That promise between just the two of us**

If it had been written down, it probably would have been the cheesiest confession alive.

**Is an unchanging eternal magic**

For when I told you I loved you, and you repeated the words, this song was playing.

**Even if the future is captured, even if the distance vanishes**

And I promised to myself something.

No matter what, I will always love you.

I will always care, and I hope to always be in your heart.

**I clearly remember your voice**

I also promised to you something, too.

**Calling my name**

For the first time in a long time, you called me by my name.

"Mikan," you said. "Always keep on smiling, no matter what."

I laughed.

**And like on that day, I will smile**

"I will," I replied, "Natsume."


End file.
